The Eiffel Tower and Golden Gate Bridge were built entirely from the bones of haters.
42% of Americans believe haters to be the greatest threat to national security.
A group of haters is called a murder of Haters. A half dozen haters is called a graduate choir of haters.
Every full moon, Willow Smith morphs into a huntress of haters. She is the most decorated hater-hunter in the United States.
Did you know: Haterade has -60 Calories, and Haterade is the official sponsor of the Sochi Olympics?
Peel open the spinal carapace on a hater’s back, and you’ll find a middle school yearbook signed with “Have A Great Summer!”
Haters have the best manicures. The easiest way to make a hater go away is to tell them that they are both loved and correct.
Sometimes haters say incredibly valuable things. Wipe away the hater-slime from the hater-jewels. Buy chewing gum with them. Buy flowers for your family.
Kevin T.S. Tang is a stoopy goober who sucks ass. His fiction has appeared in Guernica, Hyphen, and [PANK]. He completed his fiction MFA at Columbia and goes by @Yolo_Tengo on Twitter.